Does the working mama balance exist?
Being a mama is a full-time job. Having a job is challenging. When you put these two things together, you get the most challenging job in the world. We want it all and we should be able to have it, but is it realistic? How do you achieve balance when you are a working mama?
The struggle to achieve an effective work-life balance along with the pressure of societal expectations and stereotypes can negatively impact one’s mental and physical health. So how can we really define the perfect balance? What does it look like? Does it even exist? We spoke to a few of our working mamas in the Malaak Community to understand how they define this balance and whether it actually exists.
Naya, who manages her own business and is a full-time working mother of two, explains how important it is to define what this balance actually means.
“I always struggled to achieve this balance between working and being a mom,” Naya says, “I then realized that I am defining it the wrong way. For me, it’s not about finding the perfect balance but about finding the perfect work/mama “flow”. Some days I focus my efforts on the areas that need my urgent attention such as my child being sick so I take on the responsibility as a mama 100 percent and other days if I have an urgent problem at work that needs rectifying or a deadline, then I end up sacrificing family time to fix the issue. The reality is that there’s no such thing as the perfect balance. Whether you work from home, part-time or full time or have a flexible schedule it won’t be perfect all the time.”
Liliana, who works part-time and is a mother of three, agrees.” The best balance is different for everyone. Your definition of balance will depend on your financial situation, your career ambition, your wants, your family’s circumstances, your support system and the demands of your job.” After speaking to our mama community, we put together a few guidelines to support our working mamas as they navigate this challenging time in their career and having young children at home.
- Define what balance means to you– your definition will vary based on your job, your support, your wants and priorities. Your balance equation will be unique to you and your family so make sure you are not comparing to others. As your job requirements change and your children get older or you add more children to the mix, your equation may change and that’s ok. Just make sure you continue to redefine the meaning of balance to you so you understand where you want to focus your energy and what you want to achieve.
- Set priorities– Figure out what is important to you and your family, and make sure you allocate your time and energy accordingly.
- Self Care– It’s crucial to take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Remember that self-care is not selfish. When you are taking care of yourself and are feeling good mentally and physically, you will be better equipped to care of others and will actually enjoy doing it!
- Ask for help and plan your time– Remember that it’s ok to ask for help. No one can do it all, and there’s no shame in asking for assistance from family, friends or hiring a professional babysitter. By delegating some of your responsibilities, you are then better able to reach your definition of balance.
- Disconnect to Reconnect– Allocate time in the day or during the week where you are focused 100% on being a mama. Make sure your phone is away from you and you allow yourself the full focus to enjoy time listening, playing and interacting with your little ones. Setting boundaries with your work phone can help relieve some anxiety and develop a deeper sense of presence.
- Accept Imperfection- We all want our jobs to be perfectly done, properly fed children, and a neat home. The challenge is trying to make it all happen every day all the time. Sustaining this type of lifestyle can be extremely taxing both mentally and physically. So we need to accept that not everything can be just right all the time so it’s important to decide what is important to you at that time and let a few other things slide. A helpful tip is to involve your children early on so they are supporting with house chores and they take responsibility for themselves. This way they are learning to be more independent while supporting you to keep the house neat and tidy!
- Learn Parenting Shortcuts and Simplify- There are so many parenting hacks that can make your parenting world a little less challenging to navigate. Follow us on Malaak’s Instagram page (@malaakbabycare) where we share various baby and parenting hacks that can help ease your day and make it less stressful. And one parenting shortcut we love is making a conscious decision to not “overbook” our families. A lot of working mamas choose not to enroll their kids in activities on the weekend so that they can enjoy more quality time with them. They also make a conscious choice not to attend every single birthday party or every single activity as this will make life less stressful.
Finding balance at work and at home means constantly reflecting on your values and understanding what works for you and your family. Spend some time creating this value system with your family and ensure you seek help and support when you are struggling.
How are you navigating the working motherhood journey mamas? We would love to hear how you make it work! Let us know in the comments!
Credit Source: https://www.verywellfamily.com/finding-balance-as-a-working-mom-4780377